You’re how old?

There’s a mild panic. Nothing you can totally put your finger on but it’s there when you turn 40. Is it just wondering how that many years have passed? Is it work panic that you really should be running the company by now? Is it the clanging chimes of mortality? Eek. I hope not. Although I’ve now hurt my back twice in the last 18 months, and make strange noises when I have to get up off the floor. 

You feel no different, unless talking to someone in their 20s. When this happens you face the duality of being so happy you’re not that age any more and really wishing you were again. Now there are some addendum’s to this. I don’t want to be who I was in my 20s, Jesus no!! You realise now how young you appeared whilst almost playing at being a grown up. Most of my friends are younger than me, and those that are older are proper child having adults. Is that’s what’s keeping me feeling younger?
I want to be exactly who I am now, just with a younger body. Not too much to ask surely. 
Now this is starting to make me gullible for skin and body treatments. Face tightening  you say just using a Lazer, tell me more. Botox, well it does seem quite appealing. (I’ve just realised that I’m furrowing my brow as I write this and am now trying to relax my face). 

I’ve spent about a million dollars on a silk pillow case which will apparently do all sorts of lovely things for my face. It seriously needs to get up in the morning and bring me coffee to pay its way!

I’ve been smothering my face in a load of serums, moisturisers and most importantly sun block for so long I now couldn’t tell you if it’s working. But I’m too scared to stop using any of it. Perhaps it’s this delicate balance of face products that’s keeping me looking kind of ok?! What if it’s all nonsense and if I stuck $5 stuff on it would do exactly the same thing. But you know I’m never going to risk it.

So do I do it, do I actually start doing some more serious things? What’s a little touch of Botox between friends. They have said it looks natural and great, you just look refreshed. The only problem being when it wears off do you just look knackered? So do I wait until I just look knackered anyway, or is prevention better than cure??

I saw a rather fabulous ex Hollywood starlet on TV. She was in her 70s, had the best style and looked fantastic. She stated that she had her first facelift at 42. Well that gives me almost two years to make my mind up. It’s a fine line though, could freeze time or make me look like a lizard.  

Maybe it’s better to leave well alone, but is growing old gracefully the prerogative of retired supermodels with killer bone structure. Does it become slightly less graceful for us mere mortals?

So for right now I guess I’ll hold off, with no judgement for those of us brave enough to take the plunge. You know, never say never. 

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